Lose Yourself


Despite the title, this post will be less 8 Mile and more me on how I my emotions/health/mind went 8 Mile in the USA.


If you’ve been following my past few posts you would know about how I thought I had a relationship ending fight with my mother.  Thanks to my father, my mom and I “calmly discussed” (haha yeah right) what went down and why.

I won’t bore you with the details but we salvaged the final day and our relationship. I’ve always been a volite angry person and become spiteful, vengeful during fights.

But after suffering through a stomach flu (and now the $950 hospital bill thanks no insurance/Korea not covering foreign hospitals) a huge ass fight, a 3ft snow storm, and various other things….I will say the past few days have been hard being back.




I really wanted to do a post on the differences about coming to Korea 1 year ago and now, as well as differences at home.


I’d say the first difference is that I felt I could handle it. I did the flight, slept in SF and arrived at night just like last time.  But this time I felt comfortable in the airport. I knew where I needed to go, what I needed to do and felt less fish out of water and more fish in water (is that weird).

Because of the time last year, I had to spend a night in a hotel when I arrived in Korea and felt so displaced and out of body.  This time I managed to get back to my apartment * more on that annoyance later* on public transportation like it was nothing. The difference a year makes.


Another major difference would be the fact that I was so interested what was new and difference that I didn’t miss things from home that much (aside from small homesickness episodes here and there). However, this time I realized how much I missed and was sad that I didn’t get to get to it all.  I have in my mind all the things that I still want/need but due to timing, couldn’t.  Korea isn’t shiny and new this time- I hope this wears off and I’m not disillutioned by Korea anymore or the fact that it’s FREAKING COLD!

Even thought Baltimore got 3 feet of snow, Korea has been having 12 degree weather and I want to die.


So the apartment disaster. I had gotten a text from my co teacher telling me they changed the locks and where I could get the new key. However, they didn’t think that I would be back at 10 pm at night and there was no way for me to get to the key.  So there I was, standing at my aparmtnet after a 13 hour flight, 2 hour bus ride and 5 dollar taxi ride.  If I wasn’t so tired, and actually had many other palces to stay I would have cried.

Luckily I had to house  sit for a friend anyway and just headed over a night early.


As for dealing with the jetlag…..well let’s back up.


I never fully adjusted to EST.  I still was waking up super early and taking a long 3 hour nap in the middle of the day.  My last day there I was almost on track…but then I left for San Franciso for a day layover…which didn’t really affect me too bad -I just woke up super early and went to bed super early.  But now that I’m back on KST…I’m waking up super early, taking hours long naps at around 7pm, all of this while dealing with the dogs I’m sitting for.  Normally they are great and I love them so much but after spending two weeks with my dog Logan who was born with perfect training (I can’t believe how much my family and I take it for granted…we are spoiled by him and don’t realize that this isn’t normal) and suffering from major sleep deprevation…they are annoying.


Luckily Korean/Lunar/Chinese New Year is this week so I get a 6 day weekend and will have time to do nothing.  Hopefully sleep will improve, my mood will improve, and overall I will feel better about the fact that I gained weight in America from eating (don’t laugh…it’s serious)

Today was also my final first year day! Even though we have two more days next week it’s just graduation.  I feel sad about it but was glad that I got to see my favorite class one last time.  When I told them it was our last class they were thinking that I was leaving but then I told them they are going to be sixth graders and I only teach 5 grade.   I’ve already done a review of each class, but as an overall year, it was definitely educating and interesting.

I still am not sure what kind of teacher I am-I know I’m not the strict kind, not the walk all over friend….I guess I want to be the kind of teacher that I respected and loved so much…sadly those were teachers who were in my high school and college years.  They were somewhere between a cool friend and someone I respected.  I guess I’m still learning and will continue to.


Now on a completely UNRELATED topic, the fact that EXO is having an encore Concert here in seoul in March is exciting but the fact that tickets are like the hardest thing in the world to get isn’t.  So in light of that fact, I will simply leave this awesome mash up of two songs I love which I never would think would mash well.



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